Connecting with self through the cello - finding core harmony

It could not have been a more perfect day for me to try out the “You, as instrument” workshop than this rainy autumnal Friday. “The House of inspiration” studio, tucked away in the Wassenaar  woods, felt like a haven of warmth and cosiness from the pouring rain and blustering wind outside.

The feeling of space, the cushions and blankets, the hot tea and apple cake, the chairs in a circle and the warm smiles of the other attendants felt like a cool hand on a fevered brow after my hectic start to the day. To be honest, I had been very tempted to cancel, there was so much going on, I was hyperventilating at the thought of the number of hours “lost” by driving to Wassenaar for a 2-hour workshop. But I had met and liked the organiser, Evelien Fokker and her description of the course using the metaphor of us as instruments, in harmony or not, as solo or ensemble and how we directed the symphony of our lives had really resonated with me, and once I commit, I see it through.

Once seated and  having communally delighted in the shower of colourful leaves visible through the huge bay windows practically encircling us, Evelien welcomed us with the first few strums of her beautiful cello before sharing her passion for psychology, music and transformation, the concerts she gives here, and how she coaches her clients to finding inner harmony and taking the steps they need to take.

Settled in a circle, in comfy clothing, some making use of cushions and blankets, we followed her voice as she invited us to relax and plant our feet firmly on the ground. Shutting my eyes as she played the cello, I felt the vibrations travelling up my body through my feet and finding a cavity somewhere around my stomach, heart and chest heart where it seemed to resonate, filling me with peace and warmth. I marveled at how fast I had got to this feeling of calm. Evelien’s melodious voice guided us through some deep breathing as we let go of the stress we had brought with us (which in my case was a lot) and traveled back to the present moment by quietly, factually, reliving our morning, step by step from the moment we awoke to now.

I felt firmly anchored and could feel my stress still buzzing around me, but no longer IN me. Palms open, utter calm, in this safe circle.

We were told to set an intention for our two-hour session. Personally, I would like to anchor this feeling of peace and “groundedness” to be able to call on it at times of need. At the risk of sounding weird, the thought crossed my mind that these vibrations seemed to connect to something far older than me, maybe some ancestral wisdom locked into my DNA over the generations.

Evelien invited us to see ourselves as instruments and question our harmony. Usually I find these sorts of questions relatively hard to relate to but I immediately was aware that I needed to tone down, slow down, quieten down in order to be better heard and leave more silence and space for those around me to express themselves.

We then had 15 minutes and free rein of the room to think about where energy streamed and where energy blocked in our professional and personal lives. It was interesting to see how we all chose different ways to go about our assignment. Evelien played the grand piano, one woman spontaneously started singing, I started by swinging in the hammock whilst making notes, then did some yoga, some sat or lay, all very melodiously busy with our assignment in our own unique ways.

What a privileged place to be, I feel I am accessing a level of calm and inner wisdom I have not visited in a very long time. Lesson learnt, the more stressed, the more reason to make time to reconnect with oneself in sessions such as these. They bring the big picture, the insights which lead us to go through our lives from a position of connection, of values and that is what gives us purpose and meaning.

We shared our insights after each exercise, the atmosphere was safe and open and we all shared for a position of authenticity. Evelien flowed effortlessly between her two passions, this beautiful music which was soothing and inspiring us, and her very acute, at times challenging questions, urging us deeper in our thoughts. It was interesting to notice we had all achieved something concrete. We had worked hard yet it seemed to be there just waiting for us to ask the right question and be in the right state of mind to simply let it flow straight out.

Next was utter bliss…we moved to the half circle bay windows where you genuinely felt a part of nature and settled ourselves down on mats with as many cushions and blankets we felt we needed and lay, cocooned in ourselves whilst Evelien played the cello, her voice guiding us through deep breathing. I felt in utter peace, entirely present, deep within myself yet connected to the whole, to the nature around us, to the music streaming  through us, to the other women breathing around me, and to life as a whole. Utter gratitude swelled up. Gently we came back and started stretching our body to yoga exercises, feeling the deep harmony between body, heart and mind.

Hard to leave that blissful pace, I was tempted to crawl under the mat and stay there all weekend.

It was then time to rejoin in the circle, each one of us in a very different place than 2 hours previously.

We were encouraged to formulate clearly:

-          What had happened

-          What had come out of the session

-          And what the first step to incorporating that change was

Once we had shared that, we committed this to paper on a card that some chose to decorate and highlight.

This was a deep, enjoyable but also clearly impactful session with practical and concrete outcomes.

An original cocktail of coaching, music, yoga, mindfulness with a clear goal-oriented outcome. I wish all of you the opportunity to witness it yourself, especially if you think you have no time for this!

For more information on thia workshop: www.evelienfokker.com

Let's make it happen: Root to Rise

Let's make it happen: Root to Rise: I Like yoga. It helps me connect with myself and the world around me, stretch out my frazzled mind and tense body, and leaves me peacefu...

Root to Rise

I Like yoga. It helps me connect with myself and the world around me, stretch out my frazzled mind and tense body, and leaves me peaceful and serene, in harmony with my body, soul, heart and mind.

In later years I have chosen for Yoga from home via YouTube, which means I manage to do at least 30 minutes most days.

For some reason yesterday, during my “Yoga with Adrienne” session (love the girl!), the term “ root for rise” which is used constantly to mean anchor firmly through all sides of your feet as you rise up from a folded position, resonated with me in a different way.

It is SO true. We can only truly rise/grow, as a person, when we are firmly rooted in who we are. When we know who we are, what we need, and what we are here for. When we acquire that deep inner knowledge and acceptance of  who we are, with the good and the bad, the things we should do more of, less of, when we know ourselves and embrace the imperfect beings we are, yet strive every day to become a better version of ourselves. Then, we have a strong foundation to build on, enabling us to find the confidence and motivation, to move outside our comfort zone, enabling growth.

I guess these roots come from an authentic connection with self, from knowing our values that guide our decisions and having a WHY, a purpose which serves as compass.

Do you know who you are?

Are you honest in your connection and communication with yourself? What about stopping to ask yourself that question… Maybe you are, and if so, you will know it as you will go through life feeling strong and capable of coping with whatever comes your way. But maybe you have been too busy keeping your head above water in our frantic society to ask yourself that question, or maybe you are living the life someone else wanted for you…

We are here to rise, to grow, to develop and contribute. Each of us has a story to tell, a light to shine, and a contribution to make. We owe it to ourselves, and to the world, to do so.

Maybe this week we should make an hour free and go somewhere quiet to invest in ourselves and check our roots are strong and healthy, providing us the “groundedness” to rise, to grow and be the person we know we can be.

Enjoy!

#youdeservetobeheard
#letsmakeithappen

Perfecting the pitch!

Exciting day for me last Friday as I tried a different pitch at the Global Woman Amsterdam monthly networking event. (For those of you not familiar with the term pitch, it is basically presenting your product or service to potential clients or investors). I was very surprised at myself, that after years of public speaking, I still felt a massive adrenaline rush standing up there. I guess it is a good thing as it pushes me to do my best, but I realized more.

This time it was about MY business. I was putting myself out there, whereas usually I am presenting for an organization or a Club. Until recently, when I decided it was time for me to really step out there, my clients had all just sort of found me and I had never really had to “sell” KPC&C.

Let alone the confidence issue, the big challenge of a pitch I found, was how, in a limited period of time do you manage to convey WHO you are What you do, How you do it and most importantly WHY you do it, whilst connecting with the audience in an authentic way so they understand how you can help them.

I guess In my case too it is relatively recently that I have decided to start ignoring everyone’s advice that I need to niche, so I try to represent my 5 areas of business under the red line of Connection and Communication as they all correspond to a separate part of me where I believe I can help others.

I realized I could technically pack in a surprising amount of words in 2 minutes but would run the risk of leaving my audience gasping for air, and all the non-native English speakers would hear would be an energetic blur. And less is more.

But I managed, and it felt good. I was delighted to be approached by many women entrepreneurs in the break wishing to take me up on my editing offer, so I guess it worked.

Practice is indeed the name of the game, and I am grateful to Global Woman for offering us a safe platform to do so.

I did get some help, which I owe to mention here. In August, fellow GW member Idelma del Mar offered a great deal on a webinar entitled “Create your Golden Pitch”. For 5 days you received a daily email, video and set of exercises, with a live Q&A on day 4 and you could submit your pitch for comments. The different modules helped me a lot. I learnt the different sorts of pitches, the essential ingredients and how to tie it all in together, plus you get a “Golden Format” you can review before each pitch. Idelma herself is knowledgeable and charming with a clear desire to help you succeed. More information at idelmadelmar.nl   and iinfo@idelmadelmar.nl.

Once the content is worked out, then it is time for challenge two: mastering the skills of presentation, but more on that soon.

Happy pitching to you all! It’s a great feeling to be able to word who you are and what you stand for in a concise and impactful way!

#you deserve to be heard

#let’s make it happen!

The Power of being Seen

Usually, I write about “the Power of being Heard” since my company is dedicated to helping others, women entrepreneurs in particular, be heard to maximum effect; but yesterday I discovered the exhilarating power of being SEEN! 

Really seen, seen in a way we rarely see ourselves, seen in all our angles and shades for who we really are (and seen my passion for life I may have slightly more facets than an average person), seen in all our unique combination of strengths and weaknesses.

I felt not only surprised and exhilarated, but also complete and at peace, liberated at a most profound level, no longer needing to work out and express all of who I am. I felt that the two women with whom I worked that day, revealed to me aspects of myself that till then I had only felt but had never seen, as an outsider would, as a photographer would, if they looked deep enough.

Sure, I have known Lisa and Vinita for a certain amount of years, they saw me through my Presidency of the Women’s Business Initiative International the Hague, through my ups and downs, both professional and personal and had a fair idea of who I was and where my power, my gifts, my drive lay. 

Still, as we worked on the photos of my branding and new website, their insights, ideas regarding frames/props/colours/ perspectives, their coaching of me following on hours of work on my values, my mission, my WHY made me feel they had shifted something fundamental in me, almost as if they were revealing to me all of who I am.

 And boy did we have fun moving my flat upside down and traipsing to the beach to take over the local beach café with my vase of flowers and African artifacts!

The energy, the synergy between photographer and web designer, the last minute brainwaves, it all just worked out so perfectly and even the sun cooperated.

What started out as just a need to define my branding and for a clearer more pro-active website that had lead me to contact Lisa Hall from Lemonberry who partners with Vinita Salome from Salome Photography, turned out to be so much more than a photo shoot.

I feel revealed and even more deeply grounded in who I am, what I stand for and how I want to contribute to the world. I feel I am finally daring to stand in my own light and am tremendously grateful to them for their professionalism, their genuine willingness to show me who I am, their heart and energy and their commitment to empowering others through their work.

I wish for all of you to experience this in one form or another.

Curious to the results of the photo shoot/branding? So am I! Watch this space for when I launch the new website!

#youdeserve to be heard. Let’s make it happen!

Who doesn't want to shift mental blocks?

I believe in life, we need all the tool sets we can get, so yes, if I come across a book or a course which truly inspires me, I believe in sharing. No, I am not paid to endorse people, I just feel a natural urge to share the good things with others, so it can help them too.

Via my coaching accreditation agency, I heard about an online PASSION summit this Summer which immediately appealed to me.
 I am a big believer in PASSION, I think it makes the world go round, gets me out of bed and gives meaning to what I do. I love it when everything seems to flow from that passion, I work hard and can see the results. At other moments however, it  seems that however hard I work, I go to bed frustrated and feel I am going around in circles. Does that ring a bell?

The Summit came with a book, subtitled “Toolset for initiative fatigue. Permanently shifting mental blocks of coaches, leaders and learning students”. After devouring the book and doing all the exercises, , I feel it should not limit itself to the above, but we can ALL use and benefit from it.

The author, Rachael Orchard designed the PASSION toolset after 6 years of frustration in her own life and business which led her to years of research and study, resulting in this all-encompassing, deep, human, and extremely practical book.
My preference always goes to authors who admit they were stuck and suffered (and I could certainly relate to Rachel) and could not help but be in awe by the depth of her research and the analysis it brought.

What I liked about it:

-          - It is a one stop shop for reminding myself why I do what I do, staying on track, overcoming obstacles and re-evaluating and adapting as I move forward

-         -  It is hands-on practical, with exercises, diagrams, daily calibrations tools and tips

-         -  Rachel adds her own experience at each chapter, which deeply resonated with me

-          - Each chapter comes with inspiring quotes

-          - Each chapter ends with space for you to note what, concretely you will change after reading

PASSION is an acronym on which each chapter is based:

P ower                                  : Understanding you have the magic wand

A uthenticity                      : Knowing what your specific magic powers are

S aying what you will do : Not being afraid to try

S ticking to what you say: Respons-able

I ndex                                   : When something is not working, try something different

O bstacles                           : Love the imperfections

N avigation                         : Practice, practice, practice

There is so much out there, I find it a relief to have this one book to re-visit regularly as I “ sharpen the saw” in my own life and practice, to better serve my clients.

Let's make it happen, you DESERVE to be HEARD.

The importance of sometimes just going with the flow…

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes struggle striking the right balance between knowing where I am going and focusing on it; and on the other hand sometimes letting go of that focus to open up to other possibilities.

One example: lately I have been focusing exclusively on my business and streamlining it in a way where the red thread running through all the things, I do is visible, and people understand what I believe in and what I can offer them.

I have already been told that business wise, it is better to focus on one niche and specialize in it, rather than cover various areas. I have been trying that for years and now at 52 I have decided that variety is who I am. The areas I cover are what I am passionate about, where my skills and experience lie and where I believe I can empower others.

Baseline belief is that we all deserve to be heard and that grounded happiness comes through honest and efficient connection and communication with ourselves, and others. So, I coach to improve communication with self and for improving communication with others and getting the results we want I: edit, translate, write, present and teach.

Then over the past few months I had been thinking how much I miss acting, how I enjoy reading aloud, how I enjoyed presenting on the radio. In my Buddhist group I was often asked to read the passages as they enjoyed my voice, so the thinking starts…What is all of this saying to me? Is there a missed opportunity to create value for myself and for others? Am I being all of who I can be? I start skimming the internet and discover he huge world of voice over I had never even heard about.

Should I do it or should I not? Should I focus on the large amount of work I already have with what is already running, or should I devote time and energy to what may also be significant in my life?

I realize that for me living a life of no regrets is one of my main drivers.

I contacted intervoiceover, signed up for their online course and found myself in their Amsterdam studio last Saturday having a lot of fun making a demo!

Yes, it cost me a bit of money, a bit of energy, a bit of time. Will it be significant in my life? Who knows. It was in line with my “you deserve to be heard” mission and I feel proud and at peace that I “followed the signs”, followed my heart and gut so I can advance with authenticity and conviction.

I think indeed that yes, we need to focus and see through, but not with shutter vision, opening up to additional opportunities, if in line with mission, only enhances the original goal.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be” Douglas Adams

What do you think?