The simplicity and powerfulness of NLP

Dear followers,
Today I just HAVE to share with you my experiences on the NLP practitioner course I took last week in London or I will BURST!!!
I had been introduced to NLP during my life coach practitioner degree and as most coaches very much integrated the most wider used tools such as: understanding that we have different maps of the world based on our beliefs and values and experiences and how we interpret them. Being aware of how we use language to communicate, the modalities and submodalities we use and how we can use them to run more empowering strategies in our lives.
I am getting carried away ...please excuse me...
First of all: what is NLP?
Neuro Linguistic Programming is how to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes.We have strategies for everything we do which we are mostly unaware of, this is our software.Some are efficient and serve us well, others less so. When we procrastinate or devour compulsively a box of chocolates or convince ourselves we are no good, we are running efficient strategies, composed of a sequence of chain reactions involving our 5 senses.(visual, auditory, feeling, smell and taste).
So maybe we first get an image of a chocolate, then construct in our mouth feel of the consistency of the chocolate, then say to ourselves "I have had a bad day I deserve it", then feel justified, then act. Just an example. Once we are aware of what we do we can scramble that pattern and install instead a more empowering strategy if we feel we want to have more choice in our behaviour.Sometimes our software needs to be updated and we are running old programs which really do not serve us well.

The first wave of NLP, back in the 70s was rather manipulative and frightened a lot of people. What was wonderful for me this week was to see how some simple tools could transform in a short period the negative behaviour we were suffering from and wanted to change. There was no "programming" apart from what the unconscious mind itself was producing. There was also no need to go back to traumatic moments and dwell on them, the unconscious knew what we meant and just filled in the gaps. The practitioner did not even need to know the content of the issue, just prompt the client to use his 5 senses to be aware of the coding he had used and let his unconscious process the data. It was truly beautiful and profoundly inspiring.

A lot of this I would like to share with you,to enable you to live the life you wish for, free of negative behaviours and attitudes, and will introduce various techniques each week. Do not hesitate to comment!
Let's make it happen!

Step 8 (final one): Feedback, reward, persistence

Hello everyone and hopefully you have manged to follow the 8 steps to discovering and harnessing your motivation amongst my additional postings!
Step 8 is the last one of that series and has to do with MAINTAINING your motivation once you have discovered and harnessed it!
This has to do with keeping on track, maintaining focus on that which you want to achieve.
Use your book to track what works and what doesnt. Should you slip (and we all do), the most important thing is to examine lucidly what happened: what was the trigger, what were the circumstances and LEARN from it. Too many people are so angry at themselves for having slipped, they are prepared to give everything up! WRONG!!! There is no failure, only feedback. So what did you learn? Welcome this opportunity of having learnt more about yourself.
Keep track also of your ACHIEVEMENTS, however small they may be. We are often so busy beating ourselves up for everything that went wrong that we overlook all the times we did overcome. Acknowledging these achievements will make you feel good and fuel your motivation which is also why it is better to reach little steps and congratulate yourself than try huge ones where you risk landing on your nose with a stab to your confidence and motivation. Behaviour that is rewarded will more often be repeated.
I have been asked what sort of reward? Well that is really up to you and in no way needs to be extravagant, just a kind gesture to yourself, it is more about the message than the content!
PERSEVERE. Sometimes we seem to be doing everything right but are still not getting the result we want. Dont give up. Stay focused and confident that you are doing the right thing, stay centred, trusting the results are on their way.

Well that was the final installment on my 8 Step Methodology. One last reminder: YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE, make it the RIGHT one!

Step 7: Take MASSIVE Action!!!!

Mmmmmm... this is the bit where quite a few start shuffling on their seat feeling uncomfortable. All the defining and planning was useful and eye opening, but now actually having to do something?
Yes you do. "If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got". As simple as that.
This is not about making a vague wish and sitting there waiting for it to happen. Because you know what? The probability it happens is not very high. Yes, you ask, yes you believe and trust it will happen but you also have to DO everything in your ability to make it happen! But the Good News is that your Fairy Godmother, the one person who can change that dream into a reality is not very far.
It is YOU. Only you. Your focus. Your WILL POWER fuelled by that deep motivation we anchored before.
Feel it! Get excited about what you are doing!
You can't wait to start implementing the changes, to face up to the temptations and win over the saboteur voice. Its just you speaking to you so make sure you choose the right words!
Welcome the pain, the uncomfort, the resistance knowing you are overcoming , secure in your power to win. Not sure I totally endorse the "No pain, no gain" but welcome the proof you are doing something different: you are on track to the new you!
However it is not about stressing and obsessing the whole time.

INTENTION: Know what you want
ATTENTION: Doing all it takes
LACK OF TENSION: Just letting it flow, reins in hand.

Now that feels great doesnt it?

Next week we will talk about rewarding to keep on track!

Let's make it happen!

Step 6. Make your goal S.M.A.R.T.

Step by Step we are moving towards our Goal, knowing by now WHAT we want to attain, WHY this is important to us, having checked our BELIEFS and ANCHORED our motivation.
Now it is time to go back to where we stated our Goal, the WHAT we want and to make sure it is a S.M.A.R.T. goal.

What is a goal but a dream with a date? For if we aim at nothing, we are sure to hit it. So let's aim ay hitting what we want! Here we go:

S is for SPECIFIC.
Write it down. What specifically do you wish to attain? Whatever it is, you can specify it, be precise so you know what you are aiming at. Be as specific as you can, and write it all down.

M is for MEASURABLE.
A goal has to be measurable or how else will you know you have reached it? Even happiness and energy levels can be measured on number of days or on a scale of 1 to 10. Know what you are aiming for so you can measure progress and attainment.

A is for ACTIONABLE.
You have to take action, nothing is going to happen by itself.If you do what you always did, you are going to get what you always got. So what are you going to do? What are you going to do more of? Less of?
Identitfy danger zones, things, people, events which could put you off track, be aware of these and pre-plan solutions.

R is for REALISTIC
You are setting yourself up for success. If your goal is so ambitious that the chances of you succeeding are very slight you will only get discouraged. So set smaller, attainable goals. It may take longer but the motivation which you will get from making those smaller goals will see you through to the sweet finish.Small steps take you a long way and are a lot more efficient than one huge step which may end in your falling flat on your face and taking a while to recover.
Time also to check your ecology.How do your goals fit in with those around you? Are they do-able?

T is for time-framed
Back again to the dream with a deadline. Set your end goal and if it is far away, agree with yourself also on a medium term and a short term goal. What do I need to do this week in order to reach X by the end of the month? How many kilos? Exercise how many times? How much money? Whatever your issue, work backwards. And of course NOTE it all down.
Note the date , note the result, note the difficulties...

Keep that unswerving desire burning, keep track of your progress. Focus on the finishing line and enjoy the journey!

Once the plan is finalised, full of motivation and focus we will move next week to step 7: take massive action.

Let's make it happen!

Step 5. Anchoring your motivation. Part 2: Visualisations

Last week we talked about the importance of anchoring your motivation so you can access it when you need it most. We talked about the technique of using affirmations and this week we continue on anchoring, using this time the tool of visualisation.

Visualisation is a very powerful technique.
Thought creates reality. The brain does not make a difference between something lived and something very vividly imagined! Intriguing isn't it? But true. Have you ever woken from a particularly powerful dream and for a while you are fuzzy about if it had actually happened or not?
Try it.

Take the thing, the state that you have determined as WHAT you want.
You need to sit somewhere quiet, where you can relax without any risk of being disturbed. Shut the door, put the phone on silent. Now sit comfortably with your back supported and your feet firmly on the floor. Let your hands rest on your knees in a natural position. Shut your eyes and take a couple of long, deep, and regular breaths. Feel yourslef really sinking deeper within yourself. Now visualise the new you having attained that which you seek. Make it as real as you can, with as many details as possible. All your mind must be engaged.
Visualise yourself having attained your goal: make it colourful, vibrant, highly desirable. What will you look like? How will you feel? What will people be saying around you and what will you be saying to yourself? Pay attention to the colours, the light. Are you seeing yourself as if you were a fly on the wall or are you looking through your own eyes? If you are not doing it already, associate with the new you, see through your own eyes. Make the new you picture even brighter,even bigger. Notice how you react to this.
Know you can do it, you will do it, you have just seen yourself do it.Install that photo in your mind. Take your time to install it firmly. It will help you bypass limiting beliefs.
Once you have it securely installed and you have enjoyed this visual of the new you with all your senses, gently bring yourself back to the now. Wiggle your fingers and feel your mind coming back to the surface, take a few deep breaths and open your eyes.

So how did that feel? Strong stuff!

Enjoy the feeling, go back there whenever you want and use it to fuel yourself forward.
Next week we will be looking at making your goal SMART.

Let's make it happen!

Step 5. Anchoring your motivation. Part 1: Affirmations

Now this sounds like fun doesnt it?
The thing with motivation is that we dont always have it available when we need it the most.It is relatively easy being motivated to lose weight when our tummy is full or when we are feeling great about ourselves, but how to stay on track when the going gets tough?
Hence the concept of anchoring. So what does an anchor do? When we throw an anchor on a boat (from a boat sounds better!)we are fixing where we want to be. At times the current, the tide, the wind may take the boat a little bit off track, but the anchor ensures that we come back to where we want to be. And that is also what anchoring our motivation will do for us.
So how can we anchor our motivation?
The two most common ways are by affirmations and visualisations.
Today we shall take a look at affirmations.

An affirmation is a word, a sentence, maybe a few sentences, that mean something to you and that you repeat to yourself so much that they become your self-talk. A few rules need to be obeyed. An affirmation needs to be:
- positive
- present
- personal

By positive I mean stating what you want and not what you are moving away from. Our brain does strange things with "donts".Our brain does not operate with negatives,they don't exist,so it wipes them out. So where does all your attention go? Sure enough: to that which you do not want."Don't think of a red car": we automatically do. So when we say: "don't smoke" to ourselves, our brain registers: " smoke, smoke". As philosopher Jung said: "What we resist persists", so do not give all your attention to that which you do not want.

Present:State your affirmation in the present tense and start acting the part now.Fake it till you make it and start developing now the qualities of the person you want to become.

Personal: this is about you and you must feel deeply spoken to by your affirmation so make it personal:
I am fit, firm and focussed. I am organised and in control. I am a great Mother. I am positive and motivated.I am great at what I do.

Whatever works for you as long as the three "P"s are respected.

Then REPEAT it all the time, in your head, out loud, write it on colourful cards. Affirm it to yourself as often as you can, till your message to yourself becomes fully ingrained in your sub-conscious.This will keep you focussed, keep you anchored to the destination you have chosen.

That is enough for us to focus on today, so why wait? Think up a word or a sentence which is your goal and start boldly telling your brain!

Good luck and more next week with anchoring by visualising!
Let's make it happen!

A resolution needs motivation so on to Step 4: Examine your Beliefs

Lets continue on our 8 steps mission to discover and harness your motivation!
We have in Step 1: committed to paper, in Step 2:Determined what we want, in Step 3: Determined why we want it and now we need to take a little psychological break to examine the beliefs we hold regarding what it is that we want.
So, what is a belief?
A belief is a feeling of certainty we hold about something which is upheld by reference experiences.
In order for you to fully commit to getting what you want, you need to fully believe it is the right thing.I shall share an example with you:I had a client a few years back wanting to lose weight. She was doing very well up to a certain point and then went back to over-indulging. After a few sessions it appeared that what was holding her back after the initial thrill of losing weight, was her belief in what a thin woman was like. She believed thin women were boring, always saying no to the good things of life, drinking mineral water and nibbling on celery sticks. She preferred to identify with the wild woman who devoured life including over-indulging in food and drink...

How CONFIDENT are you that you will achieve your goal? If you are already saying to yourself: OK I'll go through the moves but it will never work, I have failed every time so far...you are indeed setting yourself up for failure again in order to comply with that limiting belief you hold about yourself.
You need to believe you DESERVE to achieve that change.
You need to believe you CAN do it.
You need to believe you WILL do it.

The modern concept of Coaching came about in the 60s when a famous tennis coach named Tim Galwey wrote: :The Inner Game". He came to the conclusion that the firecest opponent was not on the other side of the net but within us. We need to recognise our fears and excuses and move beyond.
Beliefs and habits can change.

Pull on other successful aspects of your life, set yourself up for SUCCESS!

So take out what you wrote you wanted to achieve and ask yourself what you believe about that state or about others who have achieved that change.

Good luck! More next week with Step 5: ANCHORING your motivation!

Let's make it happen!