If alright with you, dear followers and occasional blog readers, I shall put the "8 steps to discovering and harnessing your motivation" on hold to go with the seasonal flow!
End of December, under a very snowy Potsdam sky,the time is right, before moving on to defining goals and resolutions for 2011, to first take stock for 2010.
A friend of mine shared with me an exercise called "My best year yet" and though I am very sorry to not be able to locate the direct source, I would like to share it with you as I found it very valuable. Why? Because we learn from the past. That is actually part of a saying which really resonnates with me: Learn from the past, plan for the futur and live in the present!
So get your notebooks out and answer the following:
1. So what were your personal successes over the last year? What are you satisfied with? Proud of?
2. What regrets do you have? What did you not achieve that you had wanted to?
3. What did you learn?
4. Which people counted for you the most in the past year? Rank them and decide if there is anything you would want to change next year.
5. Based on the above, make at least 10 resolutions for the coming year.
Good luck!And a very happy new year to you all!
May it bring you fun and friendship, love and laughter, health and hope and passion and purpose!
Let's make it happen!
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Step 3: Determine WHY do you want that change?
In other words: what is your motivation? In order to step outside our comfort zone and do something differently we need to be very clear on what it will bring us. This is of course highly subjective but crucial in gathering the energy and the strength that will see us over the hurdle.
So what will being (...) bring you? Write it all down. Just let it flow, the first reason, the second, the third, with no judgement in between. When you write freely, fast, your conscious mind is held busy with the physical writing which lets the subconscious get a chance to express itself.Our conscious brain is the one which analyses and at times sabotages our creative ideas before they are even given a chance, so we need to get around him! Ever wondered at the marvellously creative ideas you get when walking or gardening? It is basically the same reason, the conscious mind is too busy repeating its movements to sabotage the potentially wild, free, different thoughts which may emerge from our subconscious! You must keep asking. The first reasons will most likely be the ones you know you should change for but not neccessarily your core motivation. And that is the one which matters, that is the one for which you are prepared to put up with some hardship.
We are creatures of habit and it takes a lot of willpower to break the habit and venture out into unknown territory. You will only take consistent action if something important to you is at stake.
So WHAT will making this change in yourself bring you? If we are talking about being for example fitter or slimmer (this is just an example for the sake of clarity, you can use this process for ANY change): your DESIRE to be slimmer has to be stronger than your desire for that piece of chocolate cake. You will be the same, the cake will be the same, the only thing that will change will be your focus, your drive, your willpower concerning your reaction to that piece of cake.
This new you then becomes a MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION because you know it fits with who you really are.
In motivational coaching we talk about:
AWAY GOALS which are associated with moving away from a state which causes us distress. It is usually associated with fear or pain. We will do soemthing out of fear of the consequence. So in our previous example, not eating the cake out of fear of staying fat and dying of a coronary disease.
TOWARDS GOALS on the other hand are associated with pleasure. Moving towards being a slimmer, fitter you, feeling great about ourselves, in control.
So once we have a deeper understanding of WHY this change is important to us, WHAT it will bring us. Once we have the fuel to power our motivation, we need to take a little psychological break to examine some beliefs we may hold on the topic!
For those of you reading this now, whether you celebrate Xmas or not in your corner of the world: I wish you a wonderful festive season, full of sharing and caring and wish you all the very best for 2011. May you accomplish all your goals!
I will be back after Xmas to accompany you as you examine your beliefs!
Let's make it happen!
So what will being (...) bring you? Write it all down. Just let it flow, the first reason, the second, the third, with no judgement in between. When you write freely, fast, your conscious mind is held busy with the physical writing which lets the subconscious get a chance to express itself.Our conscious brain is the one which analyses and at times sabotages our creative ideas before they are even given a chance, so we need to get around him! Ever wondered at the marvellously creative ideas you get when walking or gardening? It is basically the same reason, the conscious mind is too busy repeating its movements to sabotage the potentially wild, free, different thoughts which may emerge from our subconscious! You must keep asking. The first reasons will most likely be the ones you know you should change for but not neccessarily your core motivation. And that is the one which matters, that is the one for which you are prepared to put up with some hardship.
We are creatures of habit and it takes a lot of willpower to break the habit and venture out into unknown territory. You will only take consistent action if something important to you is at stake.
So WHAT will making this change in yourself bring you? If we are talking about being for example fitter or slimmer (this is just an example for the sake of clarity, you can use this process for ANY change): your DESIRE to be slimmer has to be stronger than your desire for that piece of chocolate cake. You will be the same, the cake will be the same, the only thing that will change will be your focus, your drive, your willpower concerning your reaction to that piece of cake.
This new you then becomes a MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION because you know it fits with who you really are.
In motivational coaching we talk about:
AWAY GOALS which are associated with moving away from a state which causes us distress. It is usually associated with fear or pain. We will do soemthing out of fear of the consequence. So in our previous example, not eating the cake out of fear of staying fat and dying of a coronary disease.
TOWARDS GOALS on the other hand are associated with pleasure. Moving towards being a slimmer, fitter you, feeling great about ourselves, in control.
So once we have a deeper understanding of WHY this change is important to us, WHAT it will bring us. Once we have the fuel to power our motivation, we need to take a little psychological break to examine some beliefs we may hold on the topic!
For those of you reading this now, whether you celebrate Xmas or not in your corner of the world: I wish you a wonderful festive season, full of sharing and caring and wish you all the very best for 2011. May you accomplish all your goals!
I will be back after Xmas to accompany you as you examine your beliefs!
Let's make it happen!
Monday, 6 December 2010
Step 2: Determine WHAT it is that you want
Welcome back! On we go to step 2: discovering and harnessing your motivation in order to bring about the changes you want in your life!
Now we have the book, its time to commit to paper. But what is it that you want? This is often less obvious than it seems. We are usually a lot clearer on what we don't want. However if you shoot at nothing you are very likely to hit it. So aim for something, be bold, be assertive, don't start with all the reasons why you can't. Start with claiming what you do want. Bear one important point in mind: the only person you can change is yourself so there is no point having as goal that you want someone else to do something. This goal has to be about you: I want to be...(happier, thinner, fitter, a better person, mother, brother, friend, fulfilled at work, in balance...etc)
Then run a reality check. On a scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being total satisfaction, where are you now regarding that goal? Make a diary entry in your notebook.Now we are talking. Our goal may not yet be as specific as it needs to be but it has a name.
How badly do you want that change? This is the key point regarding your motivation. Give it some proper thought. We say a lot of things, but how many are we really prepared to commit to? We are setting ourselves up for success and it really does not amount to rocket science. The recipe is simple: your desire for the change has to be stronger than what you are currently doing.
In order to get something that you dont have now, you are going to have to do something differently. "If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got". Sounds straight forward. But in order to change you are going to have to do something new, do it differently.You are going to have to take a step outside of your comfort zone and will need all the motivation you can muster to fuel you through.
So are we now clear on WHAT you want? WHERE you stand now? And HOW badly you want it? And is all of this commited to the notebook in visible letters?
Then next week we will move on to step 3: discovering your motivation: WHY do you want this change?
Happy brainstorming. Let's make it happen!
Now we have the book, its time to commit to paper. But what is it that you want? This is often less obvious than it seems. We are usually a lot clearer on what we don't want. However if you shoot at nothing you are very likely to hit it. So aim for something, be bold, be assertive, don't start with all the reasons why you can't. Start with claiming what you do want. Bear one important point in mind: the only person you can change is yourself so there is no point having as goal that you want someone else to do something. This goal has to be about you: I want to be...(happier, thinner, fitter, a better person, mother, brother, friend, fulfilled at work, in balance...etc)
Then run a reality check. On a scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being total satisfaction, where are you now regarding that goal? Make a diary entry in your notebook.Now we are talking. Our goal may not yet be as specific as it needs to be but it has a name.
How badly do you want that change? This is the key point regarding your motivation. Give it some proper thought. We say a lot of things, but how many are we really prepared to commit to? We are setting ourselves up for success and it really does not amount to rocket science. The recipe is simple: your desire for the change has to be stronger than what you are currently doing.
In order to get something that you dont have now, you are going to have to do something differently. "If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got". Sounds straight forward. But in order to change you are going to have to do something new, do it differently.You are going to have to take a step outside of your comfort zone and will need all the motivation you can muster to fuel you through.
So are we now clear on WHAT you want? WHERE you stand now? And HOW badly you want it? And is all of this commited to the notebook in visible letters?
Then next week we will move on to step 3: discovering your motivation: WHY do you want this change?
Happy brainstorming. Let's make it happen!
Monday, 29 November 2010
Step 1: Write it down, make it happen
So here we go! The first Step to recognising and harnessing your Motivation, to bring about whichever change you want to make!
Write it down, make it happen. The title I have given this Step comes from an excellent book of that name by Henriette Anne Klauser.
So the first step to making it happen is to actually write it down.Does this sound scolarly? patronising? Maybe even daunting? Bear with me...
So why write?
To convert a dream or a wish into reality, you need to make it REAL. Ink on paper is real.This is your first step to committing. It is one thing to talk about making changes but to actually commit them to paper is a large step.
I recommend my clients buy a "Glorious You" notebook (call it whatever inspires you!), something you like the look of. It will help to gather thoughts,to specify what you want (will be coming to that later), mark achievements, list doubts...etc This is your map and your journey to getting what you want.
Another reason that writing it down is so important is that it alerts your Reticular Activity System. This is our filtering system. It helps us make sense of the overwhelming amount of information our body receives every second (up to 2 million pieces of information!!). Our active brain can only deal with 7 pieces of information (plus or minus 2) simultaneously. So we have three clever ways of coping with this overflow.
We generalise, we distort and we delete anything which is not relevant at the time. Our filter will send all that is important to us (our priorities) to our active brain and the rest will be stored in our subconscious. By writing down what you want, you are telling your brain filter that this is something important to you.It is emphasising what we concentrate on. Thinking of buying a new car? Suddenly you see that brand everywhere, thinking of starting a family, suddenly there are pregnant women everywhere. Our focus has changed and we pick up more relevant signs. Words pop out of newspapers, we hear something on the radio...all these things were there yesterday but your filter was deleting them. So write it down so your filter is clear that all things relevant to the topic are now your priority and it will help you gather information to move in that direction.
So go on out and get yourself a notebook, and WRITE!!!
This is for you,it does not need to be shared or in competition for the next Nobel prize! How organised or not, how correctly spelled or not does not matter, it is for YOU. Your friend and ally.You will be able to see clearly what is working and what isn't, and encourage yourself on the lower days by seeing all the gains you have already made!
Once you have this useful tool in hand, we go on next week to Step 2 which is: determining what it is you want!!!
Happy shopping and here is to making it happen!!
Write it down, make it happen. The title I have given this Step comes from an excellent book of that name by Henriette Anne Klauser.
So the first step to making it happen is to actually write it down.Does this sound scolarly? patronising? Maybe even daunting? Bear with me...
So why write?
To convert a dream or a wish into reality, you need to make it REAL. Ink on paper is real.This is your first step to committing. It is one thing to talk about making changes but to actually commit them to paper is a large step.
I recommend my clients buy a "Glorious You" notebook (call it whatever inspires you!), something you like the look of. It will help to gather thoughts,to specify what you want (will be coming to that later), mark achievements, list doubts...etc This is your map and your journey to getting what you want.
Another reason that writing it down is so important is that it alerts your Reticular Activity System. This is our filtering system. It helps us make sense of the overwhelming amount of information our body receives every second (up to 2 million pieces of information!!). Our active brain can only deal with 7 pieces of information (plus or minus 2) simultaneously. So we have three clever ways of coping with this overflow.
We generalise, we distort and we delete anything which is not relevant at the time. Our filter will send all that is important to us (our priorities) to our active brain and the rest will be stored in our subconscious. By writing down what you want, you are telling your brain filter that this is something important to you.It is emphasising what we concentrate on. Thinking of buying a new car? Suddenly you see that brand everywhere, thinking of starting a family, suddenly there are pregnant women everywhere. Our focus has changed and we pick up more relevant signs. Words pop out of newspapers, we hear something on the radio...all these things were there yesterday but your filter was deleting them. So write it down so your filter is clear that all things relevant to the topic are now your priority and it will help you gather information to move in that direction.
So go on out and get yourself a notebook, and WRITE!!!
This is for you,it does not need to be shared or in competition for the next Nobel prize! How organised or not, how correctly spelled or not does not matter, it is for YOU. Your friend and ally.You will be able to see clearly what is working and what isn't, and encourage yourself on the lower days by seeing all the gains you have already made!
Once you have this useful tool in hand, we go on next week to Step 2 which is: determining what it is you want!!!
Happy shopping and here is to making it happen!!
Saturday, 20 November 2010
8 Steps to recognising and harnessing your motivation
In Spring last year, a friend nutritionist and I held a workshop on "Fit, Firm and Focussed" for the Summer which involved a part on nutrition provided by Wendy Derijk and a part on motivation presented by yours truly.
Though this presentation was geared at losing weight and getting fit, the 8 Steps I developed can be applied to any issue you want to change.
And I thought: why keep them for yourself? So at the suspense induced rate of one step a week I shall take you through them!
Because basically, regarding any change we wish to induce, there is no rocket science, it all comes down to motivation. The short and clear formula is the following: your motivation to make that change has to be stronger than your desire to continue doing what you have been doing."If we do what we always did, we get what we always got"! Seems logical looked at like that yet how many of us just keep on trying the way we have and are surprised we are still failing? Its hitting your head against a wall yet we keep on doing it! Albert Einstein said something along the lines that a problem can not be solved with the same mindset which created it in the first place. Very true and very wise.
Yet another mindset implies a degree of change and we are creatures of habit. Change is scary. Better the devil you know... So to change we need to be creative, and think in a new way, from a new perspective, we need to be brave and willing to step outside our comfort zone and face the unknown or the untried and to do that we need to be fuelled by our motivation!
So now the stage is set, next week I will take you to step 1: The power of writing!
Wishing you all a fun and fruitful week full of gratitude and self development!
Here's to making it happen!
Though this presentation was geared at losing weight and getting fit, the 8 Steps I developed can be applied to any issue you want to change.
And I thought: why keep them for yourself? So at the suspense induced rate of one step a week I shall take you through them!
Because basically, regarding any change we wish to induce, there is no rocket science, it all comes down to motivation. The short and clear formula is the following: your motivation to make that change has to be stronger than your desire to continue doing what you have been doing."If we do what we always did, we get what we always got"! Seems logical looked at like that yet how many of us just keep on trying the way we have and are surprised we are still failing? Its hitting your head against a wall yet we keep on doing it! Albert Einstein said something along the lines that a problem can not be solved with the same mindset which created it in the first place. Very true and very wise.
Yet another mindset implies a degree of change and we are creatures of habit. Change is scary. Better the devil you know... So to change we need to be creative, and think in a new way, from a new perspective, we need to be brave and willing to step outside our comfort zone and face the unknown or the untried and to do that we need to be fuelled by our motivation!
So now the stage is set, next week I will take you to step 1: The power of writing!
Wishing you all a fun and fruitful week full of gratitude and self development!
Here's to making it happen!
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Training our brain to see through the rain!
Considering we are now in November and that in my present neck of the woods (glorious Potsdam in Germany) we have had quite a lot of rain recently, I thought this title quite appropriate indeed!
So, following up from where I left it last week and the idea that we can train our brain to look at the bright side of life and every situation, in order to feel more empowered, confident and assertive.This week I would like to share some practical tips!
- Know yourself ! See the Star in you! Grant yourself 30 minutes of your time to actually sit down and take stock of all the great things about you. What is great about your mind? Your heart? Your spirit? Your body? What great skills do you have? These do not need to be Nobel prize winning, often the little things are the big things. Maybe your mind is great at reading, writing, imagination or you have a great sense of humour? Maybe your heart is caring, friendly, patient. Maybe your body is fit, healthy or you have lovely hair or eyes? Maybe your spirit is honest, fair, resilient? Maybe you have great cooking skills, gardening skills, singing in the shower skills? We tend to focus on what is missing and compare ourselves negatively to others which actually demotivates us. Feeling good about who we are gives us the confidence to want to develop further and we are then more able to reach out to others.
- Be grateful for what you have. Every night when you go to bed say thank you for five things you are grateful for that day. Even after a bad day, you can always find five things, however small to be grateful for. Especially after a bad day, add in to your mental bedtime story, one thing you can do to make tomorow even better.
- Start your day with some powerful morning questions, you dont need to get up extra early it can be in bed, in the shower, brushing your teeth: just train your brain to look at what is positive. What am I excited about in my life right now? What am I proud about at the moment? What do I enjoy the most in my life right now? What am I committed to right now?
OK, that is enough to start with. Even if you only manage to start with incorporating one of each of these in your daily routine you are moving towards the sunshine!
So what do I see through the rain? ... Nature is getting its drink, the snails come out to play, the streets and my car get a much needed wash, the colours become more vibrant, lovely earthy mother nature smells unfold, we get to cuddle up around a cup of tea and I get to wear my new fancy rubber boots!!!!
Here's to a vibrant life: let's make it happen!
So, following up from where I left it last week and the idea that we can train our brain to look at the bright side of life and every situation, in order to feel more empowered, confident and assertive.This week I would like to share some practical tips!
- Know yourself ! See the Star in you! Grant yourself 30 minutes of your time to actually sit down and take stock of all the great things about you. What is great about your mind? Your heart? Your spirit? Your body? What great skills do you have? These do not need to be Nobel prize winning, often the little things are the big things. Maybe your mind is great at reading, writing, imagination or you have a great sense of humour? Maybe your heart is caring, friendly, patient. Maybe your body is fit, healthy or you have lovely hair or eyes? Maybe your spirit is honest, fair, resilient? Maybe you have great cooking skills, gardening skills, singing in the shower skills? We tend to focus on what is missing and compare ourselves negatively to others which actually demotivates us. Feeling good about who we are gives us the confidence to want to develop further and we are then more able to reach out to others.
- Be grateful for what you have. Every night when you go to bed say thank you for five things you are grateful for that day. Even after a bad day, you can always find five things, however small to be grateful for. Especially after a bad day, add in to your mental bedtime story, one thing you can do to make tomorow even better.
- Start your day with some powerful morning questions, you dont need to get up extra early it can be in bed, in the shower, brushing your teeth: just train your brain to look at what is positive. What am I excited about in my life right now? What am I proud about at the moment? What do I enjoy the most in my life right now? What am I committed to right now?
OK, that is enough to start with. Even if you only manage to start with incorporating one of each of these in your daily routine you are moving towards the sunshine!
So what do I see through the rain? ... Nature is getting its drink, the snails come out to play, the streets and my car get a much needed wash, the colours become more vibrant, lovely earthy mother nature smells unfold, we get to cuddle up around a cup of tea and I get to wear my new fancy rubber boots!!!!
Here's to a vibrant life: let's make it happen!
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Is your glass half empty or half full?
Both are correct, but which makes you feel better? When you wake up Sunday morning do you rejoice to have a full free day in front of you or do you feel depressed that the weekend is almost over?
When we look at what is in the glass we are doing what is called Asset Based Thinking, as in feeling good about what we have. When we look at what is missing we are indulging in Deficit Based Thinking, something is missing which leads to us feeling that we are hard done by, we are victim of circumstances, we are helpless.
Some people are born with a natural tendency to look on the bright side, others may more rapidly see the downside but we can all train our brains to look for the assets. Now that doesnt mean that we then rest on our laurels and have no drive to fill the glass even more. On the contrary: when we are grateful for what we have, we feel in control, we feel strong, confident and are then more able to think of strategies to get more. The looking at what is lacking approach makes us feel bad, feel burdened, hard done by which leads to low satisfaction, low motivation, low self belief.
I was lucky to be asked to give a presentation to some middle schoolers and used the allegory of our brain as a television which only diffuses 2 channels: a positive asset based one, and the negative deficit based. The only person in charge of the remote control is you: so which channel do you choose? There is always a silver lining to any problem.... You need to look for it.
More next week on tips to train our brain to see through the rain!
Here's to making it happen!
When we look at what is in the glass we are doing what is called Asset Based Thinking, as in feeling good about what we have. When we look at what is missing we are indulging in Deficit Based Thinking, something is missing which leads to us feeling that we are hard done by, we are victim of circumstances, we are helpless.
Some people are born with a natural tendency to look on the bright side, others may more rapidly see the downside but we can all train our brains to look for the assets. Now that doesnt mean that we then rest on our laurels and have no drive to fill the glass even more. On the contrary: when we are grateful for what we have, we feel in control, we feel strong, confident and are then more able to think of strategies to get more. The looking at what is lacking approach makes us feel bad, feel burdened, hard done by which leads to low satisfaction, low motivation, low self belief.
I was lucky to be asked to give a presentation to some middle schoolers and used the allegory of our brain as a television which only diffuses 2 channels: a positive asset based one, and the negative deficit based. The only person in charge of the remote control is you: so which channel do you choose? There is always a silver lining to any problem.... You need to look for it.
More next week on tips to train our brain to see through the rain!
Here's to making it happen!
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