Monday 3 October 2016
Human Touch still at the Heart of Business
I was privileged recently
in being invited to a company outing organised by www.businesscontroller.nu in partnership with www.wens.finance.
My claim to fame, being a
long-time acquaintance of Paul Kramer and having edited the English version of
their acclaimed online financial ability tests.
The outing consisted in
sailing the famous Skûtsje boats
in Friesland on the Gaastmeer in Sneek.
Invited were
various acquaintances, clients, prospectives from the Financial world. However,
business was not on the agenda. No suits or acquisition, but sports clothes, sharing
the moment and a lot of fun.
We met at Lokaal 55 in Sneek and introduced ourselves
around coffee and cakes basking in the late September sun.
Florian from Uit-zeilen explained how this
magnificent 20 m flat bottom sailing boat (Skûtsje ) was manned and the
security rules.
And off we set under skipper Florian’s capable
guidance for 2 hours of utter bliss, good but not over-powering wind, bright
sun, vivid blue sky, stunning Dutch water landscape, and active sailing (perhaps
even sportier at times than some were comfortable with!). Florian actually
sails the boat in competitions with a crew of 12-16.
What I found particularly invigorating was the coming
together through activity, all hands on deck, in different constellations,
bonding and laughing (some at my expense as I managed to rip the seat of my
jeans within 2 minutes…).
The event was also exquisitely organised, freshly
cooked Bitterballen bounced on board the moment we were moored.
Sun-flushed and wind-blown we gathered around a drink
and a delicious, very refined Barbeque, well proud of our exertions as the sun
set enhancing the great décor inside lokaal 55.I cannot vouch for the meat but
the fish and shrimp delicately steamed “en papillotes” was divine, as were the
salads.
Interesting to think this group of fun relaxed people
are usually quite serious, suit -clad CFOs…
What impressed me the most, was the fact that in
these highly digitalised days, the concept of such an outing is still seen as
important and valuable to make time for, both from the organisers and the
participants point of view.
Wonderful to feel the human touch still rules,
holding true the adage that “we do business with people we like”.
Onwards and upwards.
More information on Uit-zeilen events at www.uit-zeilen.nl
Monday 26 September 2016
Turn the sound down or play it backward
There is an expression in French: "Tu ne vas pas en faire un film!" meaning when something has happened, that one should not make a "whole film" a whole brouhaha about it.
Yet that IS what most of us do. And so do I. When something happens we find annoying or hurtful or frustrating we go over it again and again and create a film with "and I will say that"and then this will ensue and this time I will answer...etc etc
The more we do that, the more we climb our high horse of self-righteousness or cower down wallowing in self pity, or shoot off all guns blazing... the more vivid we make the film. Adding action, making the picture more vivid, more colourful, louder till we almost wish we were there to enjoy this master piece... Yet after a while...what might have felt good as vent to emotions becomes a very impactful film which does not go away, no pause button at night and it turns into a torment...
So now is time to take action and using NLP, adapt the modalities...
Does your film lose impact if it is black and white? What if you turn the volume down or even off ?
Maybe instead of broadcasting the film in our mind on a large panoramic screen, we scrunch it down to a barely visible square on the periphery of our vision.
You could even make it funny and play it fast-forward or backwards? How does that feel? It loses its impact doesn't it?
Instead of triggering immediately all our emotional buttons, we can pause and consider what we are seeing and choose our reaction.
The images then return to what in effect they are, purely self made images, with as much meaning and impact as we choose to give them, a fiction, a fantasy...
Maybe give that a try next time you have a non-empowering scenario which seems to be stuck on repeat in your mind.
We always have a choice, make it the one which empowers you.
Let's make it happen...
Yet that IS what most of us do. And so do I. When something happens we find annoying or hurtful or frustrating we go over it again and again and create a film with "and I will say that"and then this will ensue and this time I will answer...etc etc
The more we do that, the more we climb our high horse of self-righteousness or cower down wallowing in self pity, or shoot off all guns blazing... the more vivid we make the film. Adding action, making the picture more vivid, more colourful, louder till we almost wish we were there to enjoy this master piece... Yet after a while...what might have felt good as vent to emotions becomes a very impactful film which does not go away, no pause button at night and it turns into a torment...
So now is time to take action and using NLP, adapt the modalities...
Does your film lose impact if it is black and white? What if you turn the volume down or even off ?
Maybe instead of broadcasting the film in our mind on a large panoramic screen, we scrunch it down to a barely visible square on the periphery of our vision.
You could even make it funny and play it fast-forward or backwards? How does that feel? It loses its impact doesn't it?
Instead of triggering immediately all our emotional buttons, we can pause and consider what we are seeing and choose our reaction.
The images then return to what in effect they are, purely self made images, with as much meaning and impact as we choose to give them, a fiction, a fantasy...
Maybe give that a try next time you have a non-empowering scenario which seems to be stuck on repeat in your mind.
We always have a choice, make it the one which empowers you.
Let's make it happen...
Sunday 11 September 2016
Do YOU wear body lotion?
Strange question maybe coming from a coach... The question arose in a coaching session about 10 years ago which was mostly centred on overwhelm and linked in to an increased awareness of her feeling of self -esteem and self-worth and served as cataclyst for needed changes...
We then called it the "body lotion test"and I have used it a few more times since then.
Obviously it is NOT about the body lotion as self, as you may not personally use any without it reflecting on your feeling of self worth. It was in the category of not essential hygiene like a shower or brushing teeth are, yet a routine that most (women at least) carry out which involves, caring for their body, literally being in touch with it and taking those additional 5 minutes to make them feel good and set them up for the challenges and tasks of the day ...
It is about caring about yourself so you in turn can care about others. If we do not respect ourselves, why should others?
It is not about being selfish, much the contrary, it is about a minimum effort to set ourselves up to being our personal best and being able to reach out to others from a position of plenty and peace...
So...Do YOU wear body lotion?
We then called it the "body lotion test"and I have used it a few more times since then.
Obviously it is NOT about the body lotion as self, as you may not personally use any without it reflecting on your feeling of self worth. It was in the category of not essential hygiene like a shower or brushing teeth are, yet a routine that most (women at least) carry out which involves, caring for their body, literally being in touch with it and taking those additional 5 minutes to make them feel good and set them up for the challenges and tasks of the day ...
It is about caring about yourself so you in turn can care about others. If we do not respect ourselves, why should others?
It is not about being selfish, much the contrary, it is about a minimum effort to set ourselves up to being our personal best and being able to reach out to others from a position of plenty and peace...
So...Do YOU wear body lotion?
Monday 29 August 2016
Gathering the fruits of the Summer
Welcome back!
Whether you have been abroad, taken a holiday, or enjoyed a quieter work period due to the Summer months, I hope you are now getting back into operational mode and looking ahead to the third Trimester of this year.
So, did you manage to pause at any point and smell the roses?
What did that bring you? Maybe before we get caught up in the rush it would be beneficial to take a few minutes and reflect on any insights, what they mean, and what needs changing.
The advantage of a break is that we take a step back and get a better view of the big picture, one we can not get when we are IN it.
My own insight was into what drains me and what drives me and where I would like my energy to go.
What do YOU find draining and what can you do about it? Maybe there are some extra activities which could be reduced? Some delegation which could be done?
On the other hand, what GIVES you energy? What gets you out of bed in the morning and can you tailor in some more?
Investing maybe one hour this week to reflect on yourself is worthwhile and will in the long run give your life more purpose and yourself more self-fulfilment.
Enjoy the journey! Let's make it happen.
Whether you have been abroad, taken a holiday, or enjoyed a quieter work period due to the Summer months, I hope you are now getting back into operational mode and looking ahead to the third Trimester of this year.
So, did you manage to pause at any point and smell the roses?
What did that bring you? Maybe before we get caught up in the rush it would be beneficial to take a few minutes and reflect on any insights, what they mean, and what needs changing.
The advantage of a break is that we take a step back and get a better view of the big picture, one we can not get when we are IN it.
My own insight was into what drains me and what drives me and where I would like my energy to go.
What do YOU find draining and what can you do about it? Maybe there are some extra activities which could be reduced? Some delegation which could be done?
On the other hand, what GIVES you energy? What gets you out of bed in the morning and can you tailor in some more?
Investing maybe one hour this week to reflect on yourself is worthwhile and will in the long run give your life more purpose and yourself more self-fulfilment.
Enjoy the journey! Let's make it happen.
Wednesday 20 July 2016
Summer time: Stopping to smell the roses
For many of us, Summer is associated with holidays, maybe some Sun and travel, a break, but how many of us REALLY take a break nowadays?
We might be taking a break from a regular job and not needing to go in to the office but is it a clean break? Or do you try to think ahead to Autumn, catch up on work issues which always seemed to slip or maybe even, though on holiday, you still access the mails, read the apps and though not physically in the office are still very much thinking about work related issues?
Then again, if miraculously, you mange to cut yourself off, maybe your Summer goals are to catch up on all the other items which you feel need doing, and leave or wake with a to-do list a mile long?
I admire my coaching clients who indeed take their self reflection homework with them but even to them I say: Take a break!
Literally, no agenda.
Waking up fully in the present without deadlines and lists, ignoring that nagging voice telling us that "really you should...".
Even the most wonderful goals can become chores if we don't every now and then step back.
No agenda means seizing the day as it comes, in whatever shape that may be. Once not told where to go, our mind can be wonderfully revealing of the little things, little pleasures that actually show us what matters most.
Stepping back provides a better view of the big picture. How can you see something if your nose is in it? Sometimes those tasks we are trying so assiduously to commit to are not actually taking us where we want to go. When we step back, we think more clearly and may access insights of a far more creative solution our brain missed as it was focusing on what had already been set.
More and more companies are noticing the downside of having employees 24/7 electronically available as they are becoming less creative.
Even the things we think are meaningful as in cooking for loved ones can detract from what really matters. I remember my Mother lovingly spending hours in the kitchen to show her love to her family, whereas most of us would have just preferred she sit down and spend time with us and a baguette and cheese would taste extra delicious if we were spending quality time together.
This Summer just BE instead of relentless DOING.
Notice things, the little things and notice people with genuine curiosity and desire to connect and share.
Let alone the pleasure of accessing moments of genuine happiness, that state so many aspire to without realising it can only ever be accessed in the present, it will give you clarity of mind and vision and you will probably achieve more of the things which will make a difference, and in a more efficient way as a bonus.
Wishing you a wonderful Summer, a summer of being present and fully inhaling the heady fragrance of roses...
We might be taking a break from a regular job and not needing to go in to the office but is it a clean break? Or do you try to think ahead to Autumn, catch up on work issues which always seemed to slip or maybe even, though on holiday, you still access the mails, read the apps and though not physically in the office are still very much thinking about work related issues?
Then again, if miraculously, you mange to cut yourself off, maybe your Summer goals are to catch up on all the other items which you feel need doing, and leave or wake with a to-do list a mile long?
I admire my coaching clients who indeed take their self reflection homework with them but even to them I say: Take a break!
Literally, no agenda.
Waking up fully in the present without deadlines and lists, ignoring that nagging voice telling us that "really you should...".
Even the most wonderful goals can become chores if we don't every now and then step back.
No agenda means seizing the day as it comes, in whatever shape that may be. Once not told where to go, our mind can be wonderfully revealing of the little things, little pleasures that actually show us what matters most.
Stepping back provides a better view of the big picture. How can you see something if your nose is in it? Sometimes those tasks we are trying so assiduously to commit to are not actually taking us where we want to go. When we step back, we think more clearly and may access insights of a far more creative solution our brain missed as it was focusing on what had already been set.
More and more companies are noticing the downside of having employees 24/7 electronically available as they are becoming less creative.
Even the things we think are meaningful as in cooking for loved ones can detract from what really matters. I remember my Mother lovingly spending hours in the kitchen to show her love to her family, whereas most of us would have just preferred she sit down and spend time with us and a baguette and cheese would taste extra delicious if we were spending quality time together.
This Summer just BE instead of relentless DOING.
Notice things, the little things and notice people with genuine curiosity and desire to connect and share.
Let alone the pleasure of accessing moments of genuine happiness, that state so many aspire to without realising it can only ever be accessed in the present, it will give you clarity of mind and vision and you will probably achieve more of the things which will make a difference, and in a more efficient way as a bonus.
Wishing you a wonderful Summer, a summer of being present and fully inhaling the heady fragrance of roses...
Friday 17 June 2016
Dealing with the negative chatterbox
We don't always control what happens to us but we can always choose how to interpret it.
Are you aware of what you say to yourself? "I cant do it, I will never manage, I am not good enough, I messed up again"....
Why do we do this?
Mostly through self protection to avoid being disappointed or hurt...but is that a way to live? Never knowing how rich our life could have been or how purposeful we are? Living in fear...
The first step is to be aware of what we are saying to ourselves...listen out to what you are saying to yourself. Negative words make us weak and positive words make us strong, as simple as that.
Sure most of us are totally professional at the put-down talk and it takes a lot of practice to re-frame in a positive way. But you will be surprised how fast it can go with some practice. It is like staying fit: you have to work out.
Are you your own best friend? Encouraging yourself gently to step outside your comfort zone?
"Security is not having things, but handling them".
So what can you do once you hear the negative voice. First do not fear or avoid but acknowledge it as a a kind friend who wants to protect you. Acknowledge it and thank it for caring for you. This does not mean the voice is right, its intent usually is.'
"Thank you for pointing out I may get hurt. It is a possibility but I am stronger now and I trust I have it in me to make this work, and owe it to myself to try".. that sort of thing.
For those of you interested in giving it a try AFFIRMATIONS are a good way to practice out-talking our negativity.
An affirmation has to be:
- in the Present (not "I will" but "I am")
- Positive (not "I will stop bingeing" but "I am in control")
- Personal : I
For example"Everyday I am getting stronger".The more often you repeat it the more you will believe it. Saying it out loud in front of the mirror with a smile on your face works wonders too....though one may feel totally ridiculous at first but hey, if you don't try, you will never know....
Next post I would like to explore the "higher self" and what she/he can say to the chatterbox,,,
Actually on a personal point, as I was jogging yesterday I realised I actually have three little gnomes in me:
- the positive: Yes I can
- the negative: you are not good enough
- the neutral: both of you shut up and just let me BE
How about you???
Are you aware of what you say to yourself? "I cant do it, I will never manage, I am not good enough, I messed up again"....
Why do we do this?
Mostly through self protection to avoid being disappointed or hurt...but is that a way to live? Never knowing how rich our life could have been or how purposeful we are? Living in fear...
The first step is to be aware of what we are saying to ourselves...listen out to what you are saying to yourself. Negative words make us weak and positive words make us strong, as simple as that.
Sure most of us are totally professional at the put-down talk and it takes a lot of practice to re-frame in a positive way. But you will be surprised how fast it can go with some practice. It is like staying fit: you have to work out.
Are you your own best friend? Encouraging yourself gently to step outside your comfort zone?
"Security is not having things, but handling them".
So what can you do once you hear the negative voice. First do not fear or avoid but acknowledge it as a a kind friend who wants to protect you. Acknowledge it and thank it for caring for you. This does not mean the voice is right, its intent usually is.'
"Thank you for pointing out I may get hurt. It is a possibility but I am stronger now and I trust I have it in me to make this work, and owe it to myself to try".. that sort of thing.
For those of you interested in giving it a try AFFIRMATIONS are a good way to practice out-talking our negativity.
An affirmation has to be:
- in the Present (not "I will" but "I am")
- Positive (not "I will stop bingeing" but "I am in control")
- Personal : I
For example"Everyday I am getting stronger".The more often you repeat it the more you will believe it. Saying it out loud in front of the mirror with a smile on your face works wonders too....though one may feel totally ridiculous at first but hey, if you don't try, you will never know....
Next post I would like to explore the "higher self" and what she/he can say to the chatterbox,,,
Actually on a personal point, as I was jogging yesterday I realised I actually have three little gnomes in me:
- the positive: Yes I can
- the negative: you are not good enough
- the neutral: both of you shut up and just let me BE
How about you???
Sunday 22 May 2016
Befriending Fear Part 1
We all live with fear. For some of us it is a voice on the periphery, for others it is a paralysing force.
"Pushing through the fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness", is what is stated in "Feel the Fear and do it anyway" from Susan Jeffers.
Over the next few weeks I want to examine various aspects and tips of this book which I found both practical and inspirational.
She categorises Fears in:
Level 1: Those that happen (ex ageing) and those requiring a decision
Level 2: inner states of mind (rejection, vulnerability)
Level 3: I cant handle it
Of all the fears we know, the one thing we need to trust is our ability to handle whatever comes our way.
We must make a companion out of fear, especially as at the end of the day apparently 90% of what we fear never happens! Seems a strange way to live one's life!
She uses a pain to power charter where you take responsibility and most importantly handle the chatterbox within.
Taking action is where the power lies as it takes us away from the feeling of being a helpless victim and being aware is already half the battle.
"Ships in harbour are safe, but that is not what ships are built for"John Shead.
If we live in fear, of change, of not being good enough, of humiliation, and loss we only live half a life and that is not what we are built for.
The truth is, we all feel that fear and the only way to get through the fear of doing, is to do.
Susan suggests tackling a fear a day to expand our horizon and experiencing how liberating it is.
She gives practical tips such as:
1. Listing all the pay -offs
2. Being aware of the options and making it a game to de-dramatise. "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly", she suggests playing with life instead of fighting it. Doesnt that already feel good?
3. Notice what you are saying to yourself ( I cant, I should, its not my fault)
4. List available choices that could change unpleasant situations into pleasant ones, play the change your point of view game. What would another suggest?
5. Focus on the good things and not the bad
6. Commit to spending one week without criticising or complaining
Some things are within our circle of influence and others not, they just happen and you can complain and resist and fight them, or just go with the flow and say YES to your universe
More next time about dealing with the chatterbox within, for now Let's make it happen and start on the road to self-empowerement by befriending our fears...
"Pushing through the fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness", is what is stated in "Feel the Fear and do it anyway" from Susan Jeffers.
Over the next few weeks I want to examine various aspects and tips of this book which I found both practical and inspirational.
She categorises Fears in:
Level 1: Those that happen (ex ageing) and those requiring a decision
Level 2: inner states of mind (rejection, vulnerability)
Level 3: I cant handle it
Of all the fears we know, the one thing we need to trust is our ability to handle whatever comes our way.
We must make a companion out of fear, especially as at the end of the day apparently 90% of what we fear never happens! Seems a strange way to live one's life!
She uses a pain to power charter where you take responsibility and most importantly handle the chatterbox within.
Taking action is where the power lies as it takes us away from the feeling of being a helpless victim and being aware is already half the battle.
"Ships in harbour are safe, but that is not what ships are built for"John Shead.
If we live in fear, of change, of not being good enough, of humiliation, and loss we only live half a life and that is not what we are built for.
The truth is, we all feel that fear and the only way to get through the fear of doing, is to do.
Susan suggests tackling a fear a day to expand our horizon and experiencing how liberating it is.
She gives practical tips such as:
1. Listing all the pay -offs
2. Being aware of the options and making it a game to de-dramatise. "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly", she suggests playing with life instead of fighting it. Doesnt that already feel good?
3. Notice what you are saying to yourself ( I cant, I should, its not my fault)
4. List available choices that could change unpleasant situations into pleasant ones, play the change your point of view game. What would another suggest?
5. Focus on the good things and not the bad
6. Commit to spending one week without criticising or complaining
Some things are within our circle of influence and others not, they just happen and you can complain and resist and fight them, or just go with the flow and say YES to your universe
More next time about dealing with the chatterbox within, for now Let's make it happen and start on the road to self-empowerement by befriending our fears...
Monday 4 April 2016
Dressing with confidence and feeling comfortable in your authentic you
Anne
Bybjerg Moller from Image & Style March 31st 2016
I entered
Image & Style consultant Anne Bybjerg’s with the weight of the world on my
shoulders and left 3 hours later a changed woman. Radiant and thrilled, with a
spring to my step.
I have my
dramatic wardrobe malfunctions like the rest of us, leaving a mountain of
discarded clothes crossly flung around the room but on average I am a confident
dresser and was mainly curious as to what “doing your colours” was all about.
First of
all, stressed as I was, it just felt wonderful to relax in her beautiful style
studio.
It became
however a fascinating journey she took me on in the following 3 hours as we
uncovered my colour story. And it was not what I expected.
As Anne
said “I don’t work ON my clients, I work WITH them” and for me personally it
was a perfect mix between facts and my questions and her observations on how my
skin tone and eye colour reacted to the different colours she placed around me
in terms of depth and brightness, in the search for the colours that “reveal
your own beauty”.
Once you
find the array which works the best then of course your personal choices and
personality help you choose from the whole array.
Colours are
only one aspect of what Anne looks at. She also takes body line proportions
into account when advising on patterns and cuts. It is not about following
fashion and trends but on what is good for you, to develop a personal style
which suits you, gives confidence and the right impression based on who you are
and how you want to present yourself.
For example
though I usually love bright powerful colours and adore large jewellery, having
already a rather large personality, if I come charging into a meeting also
dressed in a very powerful way, I can seem rather TOO overbearing and my
clothes then distract from the seriousness of what I am saying.
Colours are
grouped by season with light and dark variations and there is a lot to choose
from!
We started
by removing my make- up and decking me out in a white bib to cover up my
clothes (an all black ensemble which indeed I now see, drains my face).
Anne
and I had both expected, based on my personality for me to be a spring and some
colours worked but after a while I could see what she saw, which colours
brought out blemishes, or hardened the lines on my face, or made my lips
blueish …etc and I emerged a Summer with some colours I would not have seen
myself in (pale pinks and yellows) dusty pink, really making my face look
beautiful in a natural way. It was a real eye-opener.
It was
wonderfully relaxing and fun finding the real Julie. I got a swatch wallet with
all summer colours and a sticker next to those which really worked for me and I
made them my own.
By the end
I was literally glowing and the cherry on the cake was when I asked Anne if she
also had recommendations for my make- up and she proceeded in 5 minutes , dabbing on a few colours left and right to leave me looking and
feeling a million dollars!
As
President of the WBII I was also particularly chuffed to see the foundation
samples she was using were the mineral powders from Alima pure sold by a fellow
member: another great example of business co-operation!
Would I
recommend this? Now, yes I most whole heartedly would, Ann guided me with
patience, kindness and tremendous know-how and I believe shopping will be less
an overwhelming chore to me now I know what to look for!
Dressing with confidence, feeling comfortable to be authentic you: have you done yours??
Thursday 24 March 2016
Using our three brains: Neuroscience and coaching
Here I am again after a long break and this time...coaching found me. When 4 clients contacted me in a week I knew it was time to get back in the saddle.
Yesterday at the kind invitation of Nico Samaras and his Etimy coaching platform, I had the chance to hear Vikki Brock speak about Neuroscience and our three brains! The newest discipline to link with coaching. It was so inspiring, I hardly slept.
( Vicki Brock is Master certified coach, Phd in History of Coaching: "I raise awareness so each person has a conscious choice".)
So basically we have three brains:
- The Head brain (central nervous system): it makes meaning (logic, patterns, language, metaphor)
- the Heart brain (cardiac nervous system): processes emotions, values, beliefs, makes connections, trust
- Gut brain (enteric nervous system): survival, instinct, fight/flight, core identity.
"Flow", by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. For him the Flow is the total of head+heart+gut+individual experiences.
These neuro networks all have memory intelligence and control our decisions.
In effect this is nothing new. In Aristotle's "Rhetoric" He already referred to influencing logos, pathos and ethos. In the Tao religion too and what are they all going to the Wizard of Oz for? Scarecrow looking for a brain (head), Tinwoodsman looking for a heart and Cowardly Lion looking for courage! (and Dorothy just wants to go home!)
But it was only in 1998 that books started to be written on the subject.
Trust your gut, listen to your heart, use your brain, as Vikki said.
There is an over- reliance in the Western World on the head brain which uses 80% of the body's energy.
The holistic approach to coaching is to use our three brains to speak to our clients three brains and to settle ourselves.
How to detect a brain overdrive?
Gut overdrive:
Reactive, impulsive, action oriented, in emergency mode
Heart overdrive:
Concerned with self-image, impact on others, caught up in other people's lives, living on the sidelines, waiting, hoping
Head overdrive:
Plan/prepare, what cd go wrong, too much visioning and trying to do it all, comes across as cold, calculating, impersonal
If you feel for example client too much in head, ask what the heart says? (and vice versa)
The complete leader has all 3 brains working though not automatically at the same time, with:
- own Point of View
- own values
- courage of convictions
Head leadership:
Strategy, re-thinking, reframing, developing a POV, looking for ideas inside and out
Heart leadership:
Balancing, trust, compassion, commitment, knowing what's important, understanding and overcoming obstacles
Gut leadership
Take risks, risk and reward, integrity, tenacity, persevering, not being afraid to make tough decisions.
Step 1: Understand who I am (values/beliefs)
Step 2: determine own POV
Step 3: Have the courage to do the right thing
As coach, integrate the right mix of behaviour at the right time , at times "respectively provoking".
Complete coaching is when coach and coachee consider the input of all three.
With thanks to speaker Vikki Brock https://www.linkedin.com/in/vikkibrock
and Nico Samaras https://nl.linkedin.com/in/nico-samaras-0760751
Yesterday at the kind invitation of Nico Samaras and his Etimy coaching platform, I had the chance to hear Vikki Brock speak about Neuroscience and our three brains! The newest discipline to link with coaching. It was so inspiring, I hardly slept.
( Vicki Brock is Master certified coach, Phd in History of Coaching: "I raise awareness so each person has a conscious choice".)
So basically we have three brains:
- The Head brain (central nervous system): it makes meaning (logic, patterns, language, metaphor)
- the Heart brain (cardiac nervous system): processes emotions, values, beliefs, makes connections, trust
- Gut brain (enteric nervous system): survival, instinct, fight/flight, core identity.
"Flow", by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. For him the Flow is the total of head+heart+gut+individual experiences.
These neuro networks all have memory intelligence and control our decisions.
In effect this is nothing new. In Aristotle's "Rhetoric" He already referred to influencing logos, pathos and ethos. In the Tao religion too and what are they all going to the Wizard of Oz for? Scarecrow looking for a brain (head), Tinwoodsman looking for a heart and Cowardly Lion looking for courage! (and Dorothy just wants to go home!)
But it was only in 1998 that books started to be written on the subject.
Trust your gut, listen to your heart, use your brain, as Vikki said.
There is an over- reliance in the Western World on the head brain which uses 80% of the body's energy.
The holistic approach to coaching is to use our three brains to speak to our clients three brains and to settle ourselves.
How to detect a brain overdrive?
Gut overdrive:
Reactive, impulsive, action oriented, in emergency mode
Heart overdrive:
Concerned with self-image, impact on others, caught up in other people's lives, living on the sidelines, waiting, hoping
Head overdrive:
Plan/prepare, what cd go wrong, too much visioning and trying to do it all, comes across as cold, calculating, impersonal
If you feel for example client too much in head, ask what the heart says? (and vice versa)
The complete leader has all 3 brains working though not automatically at the same time, with:
- own Point of View
- own values
- courage of convictions
Head leadership:
Strategy, re-thinking, reframing, developing a POV, looking for ideas inside and out
Heart leadership:
Balancing, trust, compassion, commitment, knowing what's important, understanding and overcoming obstacles
Gut leadership
Take risks, risk and reward, integrity, tenacity, persevering, not being afraid to make tough decisions.
Step 1: Understand who I am (values/beliefs)
Step 2: determine own POV
Step 3: Have the courage to do the right thing
As coach, integrate the right mix of behaviour at the right time , at times "respectively provoking".
Complete coaching is when coach and coachee consider the input of all three.
With thanks to speaker Vikki Brock https://www.linkedin.com/in/vikkibrock
and Nico Samaras https://nl.linkedin.com/in/nico-samaras-0760751
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)